Big Lemon

Große Zitronen - Big Lemons 23 x 30 cm

WHY I SHOULD BE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

Because I am best able to utilize

the power of speech over a wide range of media.

I’ve never inhaled. I’ve never had sex with a woman

under my protection. Who has inhaled.

Because God wants me to.

I would not hesitate to use nuclear weapons.

I don’t drink, smoke, fight, and if I chewed snuff

I’d only spit in an empty coke can, never on the street.

I probably wouldn’t use nuclear weapons.

Do I speak French? I’ve never set foot in a foreign country,

including  Northern California. I definitely don’t speak French.

It was a hung jury. I have no hang ups. Technically I’m innocent.

I think drones in the air are cheaper than boots on the ground.

I am not handsome nor ugly nor short nor tall, and I’m 

neither intelligent nor stupid. In brief, I am defined by what I am not.

Under no circumstances would I utter the word “motherfucker.”

Drugs have a problem with us. Guns don’t shoot communists, patriots do.

I think boots on the ground are more discerning than drones in the air.

I’d abolish the legislative and the judicial branches,

    and …um…what’s the third one?

Because I’m just the kind of person I would like to have a beer with.

 Prokofiev - Romeo and Juliet

Opéra National Paris - Nurejev